Desert Paradise

I sit here slightly numb. My body feels weightless, even though my back aches. A little bored and a lot lost. The heaviness inside my head keeps buzzing around. It’s almost as if my brain is yelling at me. All those insecurities and self-loathing screaming at me. I can’t decipher the kind words when my own demons are the loudest voice I hear. And it feeds on the crippling words my very creators throw at me. Their words of supposed encouragement turning into more poison inside my head. Even when there are people talking to me, all I hear is the echo of those bruising words. But even still I smile, I talk and more importantly I live. ALL LOVES, YOUR PARADISE.

The Poison

My mind is blank even when there are precisely a billion things I want to write down.

But first, let me tell you a story…

Once there was a woman, she was bound by the same thorns that was laid down in everyone’s doorstep. She knew about the thorns but was oblivious to its purpose. Just like everyone else. Everyone but the little flower she helped create.

She went on with her life until the thorns grew too long and scraped the door. The door that kept them all safe. And she committed a sin so bright that even she was blinded by it. She held onto the sin like a man sinking. She drew the sin to be her friend.

But, every night she wept and wept and wept until her tears stained. She didn’t realize that what she stained the most was the little flower she made. Every time she hurt, the little flower bled. She didn’t realize that her sin was someone else’s punishment. 

She didn’t realize that her pain and peace came from the same thing. She didn’t realize that in her quest to be free, she was caging a little flower in a prison even more dangerous.

She didn’t realize that she was her own POISON.

Your words and actions can sometimes be even more dangerous to a person than poison. Every little thing you do affects even the tiny speck of dust floating invisible in front of you.

But remember if there’s a poison, then there surely will also be a cure. Because nothing exists on its own.




Who am I?


Such a curious question, isn’t it? The simple and the most obvious answer to this question would be to give your name. But then if you think about the number of people that would give the same answer as you, your answer loses it’s meaning.

Are you wondering how it’ll be meaningless? Think about it, you are not the only one with your name. So how exactly can your name define you? The truth is, it doesn’t.

It’s you, YOURSELF that defines you. Your personality. Your character and thoughts. If you consider an individual trait of yours, many people might share it with you. But it’s not just one trait that makes you you. It’s a collection of various traits that combines you. And this box full of differences is unique to each individual.

We are all a ripple in the sea. So similar to others of our kind. And most of us go unnoticed. Forgotten. Only the ones closest to us remembers our existence. And even then as time passes we become a blur in their memory. Remembered but forgotten. Known but unclear. There, but invisible. That’s all that we are, a ripple in the vast ocean among billions of other ripples.

But some of us, one in thousands get to walk beside the wind and become a bigger ripple. A wave. The waves- they get to see things that us ripples don’t. And I can’t write a lot about waves because I’m not one. I mean I can if you want me to. I just need to surf through my old science textbooks.

Waves. Well waves are the lucky ripples. They are the ones that get noticed. And every ripple wants to be a wave. Each ripple spends their days waiting for the wind that can make them stronger and bigger. But the truth lies in the fact that the wind only carries you if it notices you. And it won’t notice you, if all you ever do is silently hope. Because every other ripple beside you are also silently hoping. You are again just one in a billion.

If you want to be a wave do something. Take initiate. Be your own individual. Break out from the norms that tie you down. Now, you might be thinking who am I to say any of this. And I’ll tell you that I’m also just a ripple waiting for my wind. And one day when I’m at my strongest I’ll find my current and sail towards my wind but that is if the ripples beside me don’t drown me.

Do you know why all the ripples want to be a wave? Because they know that the waves have an identity. An identity above their names. A self given to them by others that makes them unique. A one of a kind. Something special.

The waves don’t go unnoticed because there is only one wave like them. And when that wave is soaring towards the shore- it is unmatched and when it reaches the shore it rubs the previous marks and leaves its own impression. They’ll be remembered one way or another. And even when another wave takes the former waves place it does not erase the former one. No- but instead it just adds its own self into the existing glory.

Maybe one day we’ll all be a wave. And if not, I hope that at least someone remembers me. This is an honest wish. Maybe a bit ambitious, but a wish nonetheless.

So who am I? As of now- No one that matters. But maybe,

tomorrow will be a different day.